Anyone that has followed my career might have wondered what happened to me in the last couple of years. There was never a time where I was not painting or designing. But my life, as I knew it, came to an end on December 24th 2009. That is the day my precious daughter Chelsea died. I can't put it in words how horrific the feeling is that I will never see or speak to my daughter ever again. I was, and am, devastated and heartbroken. I cry every day and every moment that I am not distracted, I think of Chelsea. I think of how brilliant she was, how she always made me laugh and how much I miss her. My heart aches for her. There is nothing worse in the world then losing a child. Until I lost her , I didn't think back on the nine months I carried her in my body. But now they are precious memories. Unfortunately I think about all the things I wanted to say to her and I think about all the regrets. I think about the wedding she will never have and the children (my grandchildren) I will never meet. Not only is Chelsea's future gone but so is mine. There is no amount of money, no amount of success and no amount of possessions that can ease the pain. I live in sadness.
Chelsea was gorgeous. She was given the gift of beauty but that never went to her head. She was humble and sweet. She had a smile for everyone and could brighten up anyones day. She was a great friend and a great listener. Anyone that met her felt her amazing presence. She was at ease with everyone. She graduated from the University of Michigan and moved to New York where she began working for Fox Network.
In honor of Chelsea I will be blogging about her life and my life before and after her death. Her death defines a before and after since my life will never be the same. Now, each day, my life is overwhelmingly sad with moments of distraction.
Also,this blog will acknowledge all of mothers that have lost children. We are all in a club that we do not want to belong but we are the only ones that know what each of us are feeling. Until next time.